Divorce: What’s Love Got to Do With It?

by Ron Ousky December 23, 2014


Expanding Our Thinking About Love, Compassion and Forgiveness in Our Work.

The most recent edition of the Collaborative Review focused on articles about love, forgiveness and compassion in Family Law. Our hope is to stimulate a dialogue, around the Be-Fulfilled “Campfire”, and elsewhere, among our members and the world community.

Whether you want to add to one of the topics addressed in the Review or you have an idea of your own, we would “love” to hear your ideas. While the concepts of love, forgiveness and compassion are as old as life itself, the use of these terms in a dialogue among family law professionals is relatively new. That gives us all an opportunity to break new ground, which is an area in which IACP members tend to excel. No doubt that was a reason that the people at Fetzer Institute reached out to our community; they sensed that this is a community that has the energy and creative spirit to breathe new life into these concepts. Sprinkle words like love, forgiveness and compassion on Collaborative soil, and something good is likely to spring up.

So, whether you are a great follower, who can build on an existing thread, or a free thinking leader who would like to cast new thinking out onto the landscape, this is your chance. Please join this exciting dialogue and let’s see where it takes us.

It is tempting to see this as a topic designed solely for our more free thinking, abstract personalities who like to explore the spiritual depths of our work. Indeed, for those of us who are always looking to think outside the box, ideas of love, forgiveness and compassion can be a wide open door for the most creative open thinking. However, in my view, this topic can also be seen, from another lens, as one of the most practical and concrete and I hope this dialogue will attract those who like to address specific concrete ways that we do our work.

We all know, at some level, that attitudes and behaviors have a profound impact on the outcomes of virtually all of our joint meetings. If we were to look back at our most successful joint meetings, and look at what really worked, or perhaps what did not, we would likely be discussing concepts very akin to love, compassion and forgiveness, even if we have not used those exact terms. If these qualities are so essential in the success of our cases, then might the quality of our work be substantially improved, at a very practical level, if we obtained a better understanding of how these principles come into play?

It is my most profound hope that we will look back on this dialogue many years from now and see that many great new ideas and specific practices have been improved because of our heightened awareness of how love, compassion and forgiveness can impact our work. I look forward to drawing on the collective wisdom of our great community to help the flame of these ideas alive.

Comments (1) -

12/26/2014 10:28:28 AM #

I just finished reading the Special Edition -- Divorce:  What's Love Got to Do With it?  What an amazing collection of thought-provoking articles.  I could not put this edition down.  Congratulations and thank you to everyone who made this possible.  You are amazing !

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